Broken BUT Rescued

"If the winds must keep blowing for me to trust in You... then Lord, I will hold on until You see me through. I may not know the purpose for this trial that I face, but please, don't let this

storm go to waste."

-"This Storm", McMillan and Life

As much as I love being in MC, because I really REALLY do, this is possibly the hardest thing I've ever gone through. And it's only the 7th week. It's still just the beginning, and I can't tell you how many times the thought of leaving has crossed my mind because of my feelings getting in the way.

Feelings of fear. Of stress. Of doubt. Of loneliness. Feeling like I don't belong, that I don't fit in. That I'm not enough for this group. That I'm holding the group back. That I don't have enough Bible knowledge. That I'm not as far in my spiritual walk as everyone else.

I can't tell you how many times I've started to pack my bags, completely prepared to pack up the back of my car, and just drive. No destination point. Just drive away, as far as I can on however much gas I had in my tank. I've felt like that's my best option more than once.

Then my car BROKE.

When it initially happened, I was convinced that the devil was just attacking me. Now that I can step back and look at the whole situation, I can see how that wasn't the case.

God stepped in. He took control of a situation that could have taken me away from the calling He has given me. Away from the opportunities He has put in front of me.

I believe He broke my car. Not as a punishment... but as a reminder that I'm not in control. Or a reminder that He can take me out of a situation that I may not be able to handle.

Which is really, REALLY good. Because if my car wouldn't have broken, I would have been gone. I would have left over a month ago. I would have left before the process of growing even began.

We were told from the beginning that this program wouldn't be easy, and I don't think any of us thought much of it. The breaking process hurts... A lot. You learn so much about yourself, and you're stripped down to the basics so that you can create a firm foundation for ministry. I'm starting to see now just how beneficial the hard parts are.

I'm starting to accept the fact that God has me in this program for a reason... clearly. I mean, He BROKE my car. This program is hard. But it's worth it.

Yes, I feel alone sometimes, but I know that I'm not. I have a Daddy God that is always with me. And I know that He loves me unconditionally, even when I doubt. Even when I question whether or not it's worth it. He's got my back. He sees beauty in my brokenness. He sees potential in me. He has me here for a reason. And I'm finding so much peace in knowing that.

Blessings,
        Paige

Have you ever just enjoyed a sunset?

Have you ever just enjoyed a sunset? Maybe you were at the beach, or sitting on your front porch, or maybe just sitting in the grass somewhere. Wherever you were, you know that no picture could ever truly capture the beauty of all the colors; that fire in the sky!

I have never met a person that at some point didn’t stand in awe at the beauty of the sunset. Just this week I was sitting in my car, preparing to leave the mall and there it was, that fire in the sky. Reds, blues, pinks, yellows, oranges, just beautiful. But I became curious, what makes the colors in the sunset?

Obviously God paints a picture for us of His creativity. But I was reading at the beautiful colors that are in the sunset are the product of the pollution in the air. Yes, the pollution, that thing that everyone
hates. The thing that everyone says is dangerous and detrimental to the world. The sun shines through it and it is beautiful.

Isn’t that the same in our lives? The things people look at us and point at us and say is ugly and gross.
The things that make us “unacceptable” to people and that they say is so bad. What will happen when
the SON shines through? Those same people will be left standing in awe of the picture God has created with your “pollution” and will be mesmerized by the beauty that comes from it.

In 1 Corinthians chapter 1 it says:

26 Look carefully at your call, brothers and sisters. By human standards, not many of you are deemed to be wise. Not many are considered powerful. Not many of you come from royalty, right? 27 But celebrate this: God selected the world’s foolish to bring shame upon those who think they are wise; likewise, He selected the world’s weak to bring disgrace upon those who think they are strong. 28 God selected the common and the castoff, whatever lacks status, so He could invalidate the claims of those who think those things are significant. 29 So it makes no sense for any person to boast in God’s presence. 30 Instead, credit God with your new situation: you are united with Jesus the Anointed. He is God’s wisdom for us and more. He is our righteousness and holiness and redemption. 31 As the Scripture says: “If someone wants to boast, he should boast in the Lord.”

So today friends, let the SON shine through your “pollution” and watch it turn in to something beautiful that confounds even the wisest of men. If God be for you, WHO can be against you? God REALLY is working everything out for your good, so let Him!

Blessings,

Tami